Monday, April 8, 2013

The Truth About Cloth Menstrual Pads

If you are one of my male readers who is normally here for the beer stuff, I’m warning you right now – STOP READING and come back for more beer stuff later. The following is GIRL TALK, and you WILL be grossed out. Cheers!

(Did the gentlemen leave yet? Ok…)

Helloooo, ladies! Let’s talk about menstruation!

(…if the gents hadn’t left before, they sure as shit have now!)

So, down to business.

I have a confession to make. In several parts.

One. I use tampons. Stop the mother-freaking presses! Yes, yes, I know, so do millions of other women. But I feel guilty about it. Every time I flush a pipe mouse (did you know that’s what plumbers call them? With their cute little tails… clogging pipes…) down the toilet, I feel like I am polluting the environment.

But I rationalize with myself. I tell myself, “hey, it’s just like poop, right? I mean, they’re flushable! If I had one extra snack today, I’d have pooped about the size of a tampon… and this flush water goes through heavy treatment… so, therefore, tampons are FINE for the environment…”

Rational thinking for the win.

However, in reality, I have no idea whether or not my rationalization has any truth to it, and I’m kinda scared to research it because I am just not ready to try a menstrual cup (yet) so I have to keep on keepin’ on with the tampon rationalizations.

Don’t judge.


Two. I use cloth pads. And I LOVE THEM. I hear you thinking “Whaaa?” No really, they are fantastic!

However, I don’t use them alone. I still wear tampons. And I don’t wear the pads without a tampon. Yes, I have to wear both. Because I CONSTANTLY and CONSISTENTLY forget to change my tampons and end up leaking, and who wants that to happen at WORK? Not me. So I double up.

But here’s the thing. Though I rationalize myself out of thinking that tampons are bad for the environment, I can’t do that with pads. They aren't flushable. In my mind, they are similar to disposable diapers (though I’m sure there are different components in each), and I've actually researched how bad disposable diapers are for the environment… and yes, I cloth diaper, if you didn't know this already.

So cloth pads it is.

Don’t judge.


Three. I am telling you this because I want to convert ALL of you to using cloth pads. (YOU being the ladies, cause really, if any dudes are still reading, I’d be really floored... and a little impressed)

Why cloth? Because they are SO much more comfortable than disposables. The environmental part is a total bonus, as well as the cost savings over time, but those aren't the real reasons that I want to spread the good word about cloth pads. The truth is that I fricking HATE how chafey and uncomfortable disposable pads are, even the pantyliners that feel like “cotton” or whatever – I can’t stand any of them. They were obviously designed by men who have never worn them and have no clue as to how horribly awful they really feel. Cloth pads feel just like underwear – soft, comfortable, invisible. I almost forget the pad is even there. Which sucks when I also forget about my tampon, and feel that burst of leakage that signals to my brain to RUN (which is nearly impossible to do with your legs pressed together to keep the flow at bay), terrified of red stains on my pants, only to be reminded once in the bathroom stall that I did, in fact protect myself with a comfy little puffy cloud of security.

Don’t judge my brain’s moments of forgetfulness. I blame the proverbial “mommy brain” for this.


Four. I wash my cloth pads with my clothing. My hubby was grossed at first, but he got over it once I reminded him how many times I ran jeans through the wash with huge spots of period leakage, and he never batted an eyelash then, so what’s the big deal now.

Rational thinking for the win, again.

Plus, they can be soaked in a bucket of water first, rinsed in the garage sink to get most of the red out, then run through the laundry. It REALLY isn’t a big deal. Trust me.

Alright, so whether you are convinced about cloth pads or not, I double, no, TRIPLE DOG DARE you to try just one cloth pad for just one day during one period. There are really inexpensive ones on Etsy. Just try it. It will change your world and rock your panties.

Cheers ladies! Thanks for listening. Go forth and wear cloth!

P.S. If you can't tell by the photos, my favorite cloth menstrual pad brand is Charlie Banana.

>^..^<

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